It's crazy to think that four months from now, I'll be out of the US of A, in practically another world, where everything is alien. I won't even be able to communicate with 99% percent of those around me.
Kind of terrifying and intimidating, right? Absolutely.
Probably every exchange student has been hit with this reality at some point, and tonight, as I'm relaxing with my mom and waiting for an AFS webinar to begin, I can't help but think that the day I've had today might be nothing compared to what I'll be going through then.
Have you ever had those days where everything puts you on edge and nothing seems to work out the way you planned? When you just want to escape from the rest of humanity and ignore the world for a little while? Maybe it's just me, but sometimes those days seem to outweigh the amount of "normal" days. However, as I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the heck to do with this post, I'm replaying all the little things in my head.
- I got to proofread an article for the school's newspaper (about me!) and get my picture taken for a board.
- I got asked to talk about AFS and my scholarship on the school news.
- I wrote, like a lot. I finally feel like I'm going somewhere with the story I've spent too much of my life on (not a single regret about that, though).
- I laughed at the ignorance of some of my fellow students in my wonderful Sociology class (No offense, but I do hold my tongue more often than not).
- I got to laugh in Spanish class. If you know anything about my Spanish class, you'll know that the first half of it was actual, literal, burning inferno-style hell, and now the Senioritis has hit even the youngest of sophomores (*coughs* I wonder who that would be...) Needless to say, it's less painful to cut off my arm with a plastic spoon than to sit through that class.
- My cousin stopped by the house and I got to talk to him, which I haven't done much of since he got home from college. Boy, did I miss his "humor".
- IT IS NOT HOT OUTSIDE. I REPEAT, 'TIS AN ACTUAL BEARABLE DAY OF NO SWEATING AND COOL WEATHER. I already miss the winter months.
So, maybe it wasn't actually too bad of a day at all. Maybe instead of freaking out over finals and the end of the school year, I should look forward to the All Time Low concert I'm going to with one of my favorite people. Maybe I shouldn't stress out about all of the variables that go into my day that I can't control and find the peace that surrounds the good moments, no matter how short they are. Something I've figured out in my life is that it's really hard to go 24 hours without smiling at something, no matter how little. Try it! Whether it's seeing someone you haven't for awhile or messing around with your stupid cat, you will smile. It's a fact, and if you don't think you can find it in you, you're wrong. Be aware of yourself, and be aware of your surroundings. I won't lie; these things didn't make me feel 100%, but thinking of them was almost soothing. It is great comfort to believe that even bad days have glimmers of good, even if they're small.