(Inter)National Coming Out Day?

Sunday, October 11, 2015.
Or, as known in America, National Coming Out Day.
I'm sure you're wondering: Rachael, you can't even make regular blog posts about being abroad - the whole point of this blog in the first place - so why are you talking about an unofficial holiday that your host country doesn't even celebrate?
Simply put...It's important to me.
The LGBT+ community is something I've been involved in for years, and no matter how minutely or quietly, it's a cause I love supporting. Despite the long road I've come down of struggling between this community and the community of faith, I'd like to think I've finally found grounds on which I'm comfortable standing - grounds that don't defy either my relationship with God OR my sexuality.
Yes, my sexuality.
Maybe some of you started reading this post knowing what I would be saying eventually, and maybe some of you have no idea. This is mostly because I've had a very "I-don't-care" esque attitude towards this subject over the years as I've figured it out for myself, and while I didn't actively try to hide it too much, it has never been something I've felt needed advertised. I still stand by this belief, but at the same time, I think a subject such as this is something that people shouldn't feel confined by, much like I have been feeling lately.
In America, I was comfortable. I didn't feel the need to hide. I felt accepted for the way I was, for the most part. And now, as I become more comfortable with my new surroundings in Hungary, I feel as though I should take yet another step outside of my comfort zone and share another part of my life - coincidentally also a hot button topic in the USA as of right now, making it part of my culture as well - with those I've grown close (and maybe not so close) with here in Hungary.
And for those of you who have strong objections to what I'm about to say? Know that I'm totally okay with not being accepted by you.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANYWAYS

Let's just start with saying I decided to make this post because pretty much everyone I've met in Hungary has asked me at some point if I have a boyfriend.

I don't.

I also don't have a girlfriend. However, I consider both of those options to be possibilities for myself.

I'm pansexual.

What?

Pansexual...Pans????

Let's back up for a second, and take a look at a basic prefix.

According to Dictionary.com: Pan - a combining form meaning “all,” occurring originally in loanwords fromGreek ( panacea; panoply), but now used freely as a general formative( panleukopenia; panorama; pantelegraph; pantheism; pantonality),and especially in terms, formed at will, implying the union of allbranches of a group ( Pan-Christian; Panhellenic; Pan-Slavism).
Now that we've learned the prefix in question, let's return to the whole word. Pansexual refers to an attraction to all genders(ex. male, female, non-binary, etc).
Maybe now you're thinking: isn't that bisexual?
Possibly.
Depending on who you ask, the definition and differences between bisexual and pansexual are varied. Personally, I often refer to myself as bisexual because I then don't have to go through the explanation above, and most people outside of the LGBT+ community will think of them as nearly the same.
Two things I AM NOT, though, are GAY or STRAIGHT. In the past, when I've come out, people immediately assume I am just a confused individual that falls under one of the two categories.
No, I am not confused.
...Okay, maybe I'm confused about a lot of things, but this is not one of them.

So, now you know, and don't be afraid to ask me questions. I'd be more than willing to help anyone who wants to understand more!

Important Places with Important People.

I will always have a special place in my heart for the people of Eger. I mean, look at them!

Saying goodbye to the best class I've ever been in was anything but easy. Maybe it was only for a month, but these wonderful people welcomed me into their class so easily and I won't ever forget how great they were to me. Also, they bought me chocolate so I guess they're pretty cool...

Seriously, though. Moving from the town I have grown to love so dearly kind of totally sucks. The good news is that my new home of Gyöngyös isn't too far away for me to come visit, and some of my friends even live pretty close to me! Even though I won't see them every day, I'm hopeful that we will maintain friendships throughout the year. And something to look forward to is starting at a new school and making new friends, right?

Also: have some pictures from the sightseeing my "hangos (& nagy) család" (or my big and loud family, aka my exchange family) went on!

Our first stop was at the Collegium in Eger. We went to the top to look over our beautiful city!

Next, we found ourselves at the Marzipan Museum. Keep in mind as you look at these beauties that as we were about to leave the museum, in walks the creator of all these pieces! He was a really nice guy! :)

Our final stop was at the Minorete. Climbing up 100(okay, 97) steps through a narrow, winding corridor was a bit of a workout, you could say. And maybe a bit terrifying when we finally reached the top. Did you know that the structure is so narrow that only 6 people can be in the place at a time?

I suck at blogging.

I really do.
I kind of have excuses, but not really.
I've been tired and busy and I've had to change host families which was just fantastic. (But if anyone in the Eger area has an extra room, I'm still looking for a permanent host family for the year...)
On the bright side, I've made some fantastic friends in my class and I absolutely love them! I had been really worried about making friends in school, especially after hearing about the "unfriendly" stereotype of Hungarians, but the people I've met have made this place feel like home to me already. I'm truly in love with every part of this city. It reminds me a lot of the one and only York, PA, which keeps the homesickness at bay. I have been so totally blessed with this experience and I'm happy to finally be able to get out and do more!

Also, on a side note, I HATE British English.

I'm a King.

I kind of sort of went to a castle yesterday. A castle...in my town.
THERE'S A CASTLE IN MY TOWN, GUYS.

So this beautiful ruin called the Eger Castle is currently undergoing renovations, but in the places we were able to go, we found rich history and beautiful views. I don't have too much to say about it other than THERE'S A FREAKING CASTLE IN MY TOWN.

Here's me with the four other students in the Eger chapter of AFS Hungary! Szia!

The Long Awaited Travel Story.

Well, I've made it.
I've arrived to my beautiful house in the lovely village of Ostoros, Hungary, just outside the town of Eger. The trip was a long one (possibly the longest week of my life - of which I'm still recovering from) but I could not be more excited to be here!
Let's jump right into my journey. After a 5 hour car ride with my (natural) parents on Wednesday, we found ourselves at a hotel in New York, only ten minutes away from JFK airport. After a difficult goodbye, a short overnight orientation ensued. Although more than a little boring, I met many great people and made friendships I hope will last.
The next afternoon, at around 3 pm, myself and the 4 other Americans departing for Hungary, along with people going to places such as Belgium, arrived at the airport. Now, you could say I was more than a little nervous, as I had never been on a plane before this and only had the expectations of the horror stories I'd been told. However, we made it through baggage and security almost totally without incident, much to all of our relief.
Our flight to Munich, Germany, started boarding at 5:30 pm, and after that was when the troubles started. Before we left the ground, we were delayed for two hours! Everyone became irritated quickly, as we were not allowed to move around or do much of anything. I, not even having the attention span for a single movie, passed much of my time both in the ground and the air starting and stopping movies, listening to music, attempting to sleep, watching our flight, and playing games. It got a bit tedious towards the end, but somehow I survived the 8 hour flight.
The Munich airport came with much excitement. We only had to endure another hour of flying before we arrived in Budapest! After almost not making it through customs, the rest of our journey commenced without any issue.
AFS picked us up at the airport in Budapest, and with students from Germany, Malaysia, and Thailand, we rode a bus to our orientation camp, where we would stay for two days. Every student going to Hungary from all over the world was there, and it was amazing to meet so many different cultures in one place.
Now, the one stereotype I heard time and time again while at this camp was that all Americans know how to line dance and break dance. The five of us there could do neither. We COULD, however, dance to Cotton-Eyed Joe. So what, exactly, did we do for the cultural talent show we were forced to participate in? Show everyone how to dance to Cotton-Eyed Joe!
As Sunday came around, anticipation was high as this was the day we would finally meet our host families. We prepared a small paragraphs about ourselves to say in Hungarian and got a flower to give to them when we first met. My host father was the only one to pick me up from the camp, but he instantly assured me that everyone else was waiting at home for me!
This family...first of all, wow. I have four energetic siblings that definitely keep me entertained. They always try to speak to me in Hungarian (or Magyar, as they call it here) and even though I have no understanding of it, it warms my heart that they're so happy I'm here! I've been spending a lot of time exchanging the learning of a Hungarian word for the teaching of an English one, and it's a lot more fun then I thought it would be!
All in all, I have nothing but good things to say about the journey here. I've met a lot of new faces and already done things outside my comfort zone. If my trip was indicative of my year here, then my time will be a fun (and exhausting) experience!

Four months from now...

Four months.
It's crazy to think that four months from now, I'll be out of the US of A, in practically another world, where everything is alien. I won't even be able to communicate with 99% percent of those around me.
Kind of terrifying and intimidating, right? Absolutely.
Probably every exchange student has been hit with this reality at some point, and tonight, as I'm relaxing with my mom and waiting for an AFS webinar to begin, I can't help but think that the day I've had today might be nothing compared to what I'll be going through then.
Have you ever had those days where everything puts you on edge and nothing seems to work out the way you planned? When you just want to escape from the rest of humanity and ignore the world for a little while? Maybe it's just me, but sometimes those days seem to outweigh the amount of "normal" days. However, as I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the heck to do with this post, I'm replaying all the little things in my head.

1. I got to proofread an article for the school's newspaper (about me!) and get my picture taken for a board.
2. I got asked to talk about AFS and my scholarship on the school news.
3. I wrote, like a lot. I finally feel like I'm going somewhere with the story I've spent too much of my life on (not a single regret about that, though).
4. I laughed at the ignorance of some of my fellow students in my wonderful Sociology class (No offense, but I do hold my tongue more often than not).
5. I got to laugh in Spanish class. If you know anything about my Spanish class, you'll know that the first half of it was actual, literal, burning inferno-style hell, and now the Senioritis has hit even the youngest of sophomores (*coughs* I wonder who that would be...) Needless to say, it's less painful to cut off my arm with a plastic spoon than to sit through that class.
6. My cousin stopped by the house and I got to talk to him, which I haven't done much of since he got home from college. Boy, did I miss his "humor".
7. IT IS NOT HOT OUTSIDE. I REPEAT, 'TIS AN ACTUAL BEARABLE DAY OF NO SWEATING AND COOL WEATHER. I already miss the winter months.

So, maybe it wasn't actually too bad of a day at all. Maybe instead of freaking out over finals and the end of the school year, I should look forward to the All Time Low concert I'm going to with one of my favorite people. Maybe I shouldn't stress out about all of the variables that go into my day that I can't control and find the peace that surrounds the good moments, no matter how short they are. Something I've figured out in my life is that it's really hard to go 24 hours without smiling at something, no matter how little. Try it! Whether it's seeing someone you haven't for awhile or messing around with your stupid cat, you will smile. It's a fact, and if you don't think you can find it in you, you're wrong. Be aware of yourself, and be aware of your surroundings. I won't lie; these things didn't make me feel 100%, but thinking of them was almost soothing. It is great comfort to believe that even bad days have glimmers of good, even if they're small.

Is this how you start a blog?

So, it's been highly suggested to me to start a blog before my upcoming adventures as an AFS student. Here I am, finally listening to someone! (*coughs* It's a start, mom.)
I'll be using this blog to document my travels in Europe for the next year(ish), specifically Hungary, as well as anything else I feel is worthy of sharing.
Let's start with basics. My name is Rachael, and I am 16 years old. I hate driving and I have a 21 year old black cat named Mocha. I am most definitely a cat person, but above all, I am a writer. Music is a major part of my life; both in listening to it and playing it. I have a desire deep in my soul to do something with my life that benefits the world, in both big and small ways. I hope that I can do this through both my words and my actions, and this (my trip, that is, but I guess you could say this collection of my inner ramblings you call a blog could count too, if you can consider sarcasm and fangirling inspiring in the slightest) will, with any luck, be the start of my finding a way to help the world and pull my part.

Now, all gushy life dreams aside, let's get to the reason I started this blog. My knowledge of my adventure from August 2015 - July 2016 thus far is as follows:

1. I will be living in the beautiful town of Eger, Hungary.
2. My host family is a lovely couple with 4 kids(!), already very different from my single parent/single child household in America.
3. My host father is a computer programmer and musician, both of which things I thoroughly enjoy.
4. My host parents speak a little English (thank goodness!) And their children will hopefully be able to help me learn their language (Hungarian - of which I know approximately four words so far. That's gotta count for something, though...right?).
5. The weather where I will be is similar to that of my hometown here in Pennsylvania.
6. I AM SO EXCITED TO GO!

This is truly the opportunity of a lifetime, and although it could possibly be the worst year of my life, it will also be the best (cliche, much? Absolutely). I have already made so many friends going through some of the same changes I am, and that number will only increase with time! I will be one in the many of us to bridge the culture gaps of societies all around the world and lend a hand - or two, and my feet as well...heck, why not my whole body? - in bringing the world one (small, small, small) step closer to some form of understanding and harmony with one another.